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I found myself puzzled these days.  I was told that the only function of the heart is to pump blood to the lungs to be saturated with oxygen, and then pump it out into the body to supply the cells with oxygen. I was suspicious for a while as I heard people talking about love and somehow they used to place the heart in the middle of this strange phenomenon. Therefore, in my head the heart was also pumping blood into love. Having a congenital heart disorder I thought it's just normal to feel pain in the heart. I was told by experts that I was wrong and led to believe that I could function without a beating heart, defying all rules of creation. I was explained that my heart was a trinket, and at times I might experience pain. After solemnly swearing in oath t hat I shall keep my heart only as a decoration, I was given some Paracetamol and released on parole.  After years of good practice I found myself lacking happiness and decided to ask another expert opinion. I was diagnose...

I am catching snowflakes with my tongue. It's winter again, not the winter of my life but I can feel the cold in my soul. Have you noticed how fear creeps up when it's cold in your soul? I invited the winter in, thinking I was ready. How naïve! Who's ever ready for winter? Not me! I turned to you and I felt the door to your heart closing in my face. I felt I was losing you, like water in my palm, I was desperately trying to keep you safe in my hand. When I don't hear your voice I feel like I am losing a part of me and turn into a warrior who would do anything in her power to keep that from happening. I cannot lose you! Losing you is like losing my head! My heart was freezing and I hoped you would warm me up. It might have overreacted when I said I didn't want you anymore but we both know that was not true. I blamed you for all the pain I was carrying in my crippled heart. I needed you to save me from myself, but somehow you also needed some saving from yourself...